I was walking out of a building a few years ago. I was right behind a young man and his young daughter. I think she may have been about 3 or 4 years old.
She was upset and she was crying.
Her dad turned his head and then looked down at her and said, “I don’t want to hear you crying. STOP crying!”
That’s when I cringed.
You see, I help people who have bottled-up feelings! This is THE worst parenting mistake someone can make!
And the results of it can be devastating.
Different people react differently to situations. As it should be because we’re all individuals. Some people seem to have Teflon backs.
Disappointments slide off their backs.
Insults don’t sway them. They seem perfectly calm.
But a lot of people may seem calm on the outside by their behaviour. But if you look closer, they might not be as calm as they try to look.
A repressed or suppressed personality has external signs. If you know where to look.
They may have red faces. They may have red cheeks.
They could be bright white pale too.
They may be suffering from pain. Headaches. Body pain. Accidents.
Or from Chronic Disease which may be potentially fatal.
This is NO joke!
We’re all born with strengths and weaknesses. We often don’t know what they are until we are faced with something that is potentially upsetting. Then it’s up to us to respond or react.
Here’s another harmful result of the worst parenting mistake: Reacting automatically.
Reacting generally is negative.
When we’re negative and possibly violent, we’re doing harm to ourselves.
That’s why as parents, you have to be totally aware of WHAT you’re saying to your children. You don’t want to make the worst parenting mistake possible.
When we cannot express ourselves appropriately, we’re doing ourselves harm.
That little girl wasn’t wildly crying or screaming. She was definitely unhappy, sobbing and shedding tears.
It’s important to shed tears when you feel like it and it’s equally important to shed how many you need to cry. So if you need to cry 32 tears, then cry them all. Quietly, without causing harm to yourself or others.
It’s your human relief valve.
You’ll feel better.
I know too many adults who were told that anger was a bad thing, that they were never allowed to express it in any way.
Sure people may be afraid of it.
But their kids NEVER learned how to express it properly.
So these people either bottled it up, or expressed it negatively and even destructively. Know anyone with an explosive temper?
Those are the ones.
You can learn how to deal positively and constructively with repressed and suppressed emotions.
It’s never too late to unlearn the bad lessons of the past and learn new ones to make yourself free and happy.
Your natural state of mind!
Dr. Joanny Liu, Dr of Acupuncture, BCivil Engineering
Health Consultant, Founder of "Confidence Stories for Winning Big" podcast and Best Selling Author of: Heal Your Concussion: How to Quickly and Effectively Get Back in the Game